You ever have those times where God reaches down and hugs you.   It’s as if you say out loud, “God loves ME, God loves me.”   This morning I was thinking about God as my Father and if He could give His son, the most precious thing to Him, why would He withold something simple like money for Africa.  He delights in giving to His children when they seek, knock, and ask. We as a team are seeking, knocking, and asking...

  I am in GA this week for training and we decided to go to church on Sun. I called up one of my friends who lives in GA and asked her to meet me there.   During the sermon the pastor talked about God calling people to give $1000 toward missions and that it would be a sacrifice but they would never miss that money.   My friend leans over with tears in her eyes and says your team was heavy on my heart and God told me to write $1000 check this morning.   What the pastor said was confirmation and it blessed her to hear God’s voice and sow into His kingdom.   

It blessed me that God spoke to me earlier that HE delights in giving and He used her in a tangible way to say “I know your need even before you ask.”

  He orchestrated me coming to GA this week, calling my friend, hearing that sermon, and receiving from Him.   HE cares about the details of our lives and loves me enough to delight in giving to me- when I ask for bread He will not give a stone.  

Our discipleship team is at Seth Barnes house for training camp preparing us for Swaziland. This week is full of things unexpected. We have a few people coming along side of Seth to help with training camp. Ben and Janeen Messner, as well as, Kevin and Sarah Williams who have much to offer.

Yesterday we woke up not knowing what the day would look like. Kevin, Sarah, Tim and Erin had much up their sleeves.   We were all very nervous but the day was absolutely amazing. They took us to Penang Malaysian Restaurant to experience the Asian culture.

Afterwards they took us to a Farmer’s Market culture where food labels and people were all foreign.   Our discipleship team was split up into 3 teams and had to find someone to ask for recipes from their culture and prepare a three course meal. Each team either had to prepare a meal from land, sky, or sea. Erin, Sarah and I had land.  

  Erin spotted an Asian lady who took the food we had in our hands and said “that is no good” and gave us a wonderful recipe for appetizer and our main dish. Our main dish was wonderful vegetarian spring rolls and a unique soup called “Yuki Kuki” for our appetizer. We told the lady we met that we were in a contest and we needed her help, we felt like we really bonded with her, so we took a picture with her.  

Later I showed Heather our picture and She said those were the people that said “no help”. We had loyal help. We all rushed back home to prepare our meals. It was so much fun! Especially for me, a Mississippi girl who has barely even prepared macaroni and cheese, and now was preparing a meal for 14 people from the Asian culture. It was so wonderful to come together in community and to share our meal. Oh and not to boast too much, I must say that our team was voted the best main dish, however everyone did wonderful!

 I believe our team really is meshed so wonderfully together. It is obvious that God is knitting our team together with this own hand. We can change straight from American culture into total different surroundings within minutes and flow perfectly together. I give God all the glory for this team he has blessed me with!  

What a wonderful Maker, what a wonderful Savior,

How majestic your whisper, how humble your love,

With a strength like no other and the heart of a Father,

What a wonderful God.

Amazing love…

I’m forgiven, you’re forsaken;

I’m accepted, you’re condemned;

I’m alive because you died.

While these two songs were being sung this morning during our team's prayer and worship time, I was overwhelmed by the thought that the God who was in heaven, the majestic one, the creator, the perfector… came here to earth to be forsaken, condemned, and crucified so that I might be forgiven, accepted and alive.   But that was not all…

What God revealed to me this morning is that as I am one with Christ, I too am called to the same forsakenness, condemnation and death.   Why?   That others might receive forgiveness, acceptance and life.   It is that my life is no longer about me.   Rather, my life is about others.   It is that I must die to the things of this world that others might live in Christ.   No more worrying about me, because my destination is set.   It is now my calling, our calling, as Christ followers to sacrifice our lives that others might see God in us.   That others might have eternal life; that others might come to know the amazing love of the Father.

Lately our team has been talking a lot about faith and what it means to rely on God for daily manna.  You see, we're in Brevard waiting on the anointing to go forth into the place where God has called us.   Imagine all that goes into planning for a week long vacation and then imagine the planning that goes into moving your family and team across the ocean for two years.   Actually for me, it doesn’t require more than a couple hours planning for me to go on vacation and I figure a change of clothes is sufficient to make the trip to Swaziland, but you get the idea.   In my mind, there is plenty to be done ahead of leaving but what does God require?   Best I can figure, He requires one thing.   Faith.

So that leads to a little story about Monday morning prayer time.   Seems we’d gotten onto the subject again about when we were leaving for Swaziland and what it would really take for us to be able to leave.   Normal questions of finances and logistics arose.   Questions we didn’t have a lot of answers to, but none the less, they come up every day and we beat them around for awhile, toying with the idea of what it would be like to be on the ground in Swaziland.   My familiar response was something like, “If I had the tickets, I’d leave tomorrow.”  

Monday morning, Anne asked me if I really mean it when I said, “I’d leave tomorrow, if I had the tickets.”   I thought for a minute and after a bit of wrangling around, said I was definitely ready to go.   There would be a few logistical things to take care of but nothing   that I felt couldn’t be taken care of quickly.   The team continued to chew on the question for a while longer and there was a strong consensus that we weren’t going to have everything we wanted before we left.   Rather it was going to be another step of faith for us to leave and depend on God’s faithfulness to provide after we hit the ground.   We left the discussion for later, as it would inevitably come up again.

Fast forward an hour and I’m walking through the church hallway.   Pastor Todd asked me into his office.   He is a really big guy so it was somewhat intimidating to have him call me into his office.   (Todd, do you like how I described you?)   Anyway, he sat across from me and told me the church had decided they were going to buy us roundtrip tickets to Swaziland… the whole team!   I was so shocked I think I didn’t even respond with much enthusiasm.   That question came back to me, “If you had the tickets, would you go tomorrow?”      

God has a funny way of seeing if we mean what we say.   And faith is a fun place to experiment.   Since faith is the hope of things not seen, it is always a surprise when God presents that thing we’d hoped for but couldn’t envision.    Romans 12 talks about God giving each person a measure of faith.   As I read it, faith is like the talents, if you use it wisely, God will give you another measure greater than the last.   Another measure of faith, another big surprise.  

Since God gave us Swaziland, we've had folks ask us a lot of questions.  Where is that?  Why Swaziland?  Aren't you scared?  Won't you miss your family?  Are those people friendly? 

But, my favorite, though most baffling, question is this, "What are you going to do with your son while you are gone?"  Kinda like asking, "Who's gonna feed your dog while you're out of town?"   Folks genuinely think we are going to leave him behind for a couple of years while we go away.   Others question the perceived insanity of taking a child to a place like Swaziland, with all the AIDS, malaria, third world living conditions, etc.   The questions are asked with concern and love, so I believe they deserve a genuine response.   Here goes.

About two years ago at this very same time in the fall of the year, Erin was pregnant with Colt.   I was in town working while she was away in Gainesville, GA visiting her mother.   I received a phone call from her early one morning saying she was having problems with the pregnancy and was going to the hospital.   Every bit of breath was sucked out of my life and my heart physically broke, as I literally felt a crushing pain in my chest, heaving to get a breath into my lungs.   I hurt like I had never hurt before, cried like I had never cried before and prayed like I had never prayed before.

Erin’s Mom, Bill (yes, Bill is my Mother-in-law), called me a little while later to report that the ER doctor had run a preliminary test and indeed Erin was having a miscarriage.   The crushing pain became excruciating, beyond anything I had ever known before.   I had an overwhelming feeling that this child was not lost, but that God was going to save this child.   It was a sense that the doctors were wrong, but worse than that, I felt in my soul that the doctors were going to unintentionally kill the child by trying to speed up the process.   I called everyone to start praying.  

An hour later, a specialist was called in to give a second opinion.   Bill called me on the phone with the news.   The specialist confirmed what the first doctor had said.   Erin was having a miscarriage and it was in its final stages.   I can not explain the torment that I felt in that moment.   At this time, I knew with all my heart that God was going to save my unborn child.   I could not let the doctors do anything to “help speed up the process.”   I was initially told I could not speak to Erin.   That was soon remedied in a not so quiet manner.   Erin came on the phone and I asked that she promise me that she would not let the doctors do anything to her, no shots, no medications, no 'procedures.'    God was going to save our child.   Weeping uncontrollably, we agreed that Erin would wait it out in the hospital until the doctors could do the final analysis, a sonogram.  

The next hour was the longest in my life.   The pain was unbearable to the point that I thought I was going to implode from the constricting of my chest muscles.   My whole body was hurting from both the emotional and physical strain of the prior hours of crying out to God.   The next call would be life or death.

The phone rang.   Bill was on the other line.

The machines showed a healthy baby with a very strong heartbeat… my boy was alive!   My God was alive!   My faith was alive!  

Yes, it was a miracle and God gets all the glory.   Erin and I know that God saved Colt for a very special purpose.   He is ours for a time; to raise, to love, to encourage, to point him to his Father.   But just as Samuel was given back to God, we too know that Colt is God’s child.   Therefore he will go where we go, wherever God calls us as a family.   We are under God’s protection, and as much as I love my son, God loves him more, for it is God who knit him in the womb.

 "If we ask for bread He will not give us a stone."  We are asking for the nation of Swaziland, to go and be the hands and feet of Christ.  He is the Father to the Fatherless and has burned in us a passion to share His love to the "fatherless."  Many people would argue that it isn't the American Dream or very successful path to take, but it is God's dream that He has placed inside each of us; following God can only lead to the abundant life He promised.  

We are now just waiting and learning to be still before God.  It is easy to get caught up in focusing on the future and miss out on enjoying God now.  He is always at work among us, it is our prayer that we tune our hearts to God and join Him in the things He is doing in our daily lives and the lives around us.  I was just reminded today that He takes care of the sparrows and knows when one falls to the ground... He knows our every need even before we ask.  He is a "Daddy" who delights in taking care of His children; in return we can cast all our cares, desires, needs, expectations on Him because He cares for us.   We prayerfully continue to press on towards the goal:  Jesus.

It is our prayer that we do not take one step ahead of God.  He is the leader of our team and we wait with expectancy on Him.  His timing is perfect, now He is preparing us for the next step. We continue to trust in the Lord with all our heart and lean not on our own understanding but acknoweldge Him and He will direct our steps (Prov 3:5-6).  It is daily walking by faith and not sight, it isn't comfortable, but or comfort is in Him- our creator, sustainer, protector, provider, and all sufficient one.  

Our Team is coming together…

Tim left for Africa on a vision trip, He is visiting the area we will be staying, Meeting with the missionaries who are all ready there and trying to get a feel for what our ministries will be, who we will partner with and shooting footage so we can see.

Meanwhile the girls are trying to get into the normal routine of living together, and ministering to each other as well as those around. It has been awesome to see one of our visions is already taking place. We all desire to have an “open door policy” where missionaries who are burned out, and just need to be refreshed, can come and stay with us.

They can be in fellowship when they choose, and they can be alone when they choose. We are already implementing this on the team. We have a girl living with us for a month,

We have also had people just passing through for a few nights. Community living is wonderful. The fellowship you have with those you live with far exceeds the fellowship we get once a week at church or bible study. God has been good. Pray for wisdom and guidance for Tim, protection while he is away and a vision of what is to come for the team once we arrive in Africa. We are all excited to see what God is unfolding.

It’s Swaziland!  

Eight months have passed since the vision for the Disciple Team was first released.   So much has happened and throughout it all we have been praying for God to reveal to us where He would want us.   Many places have been offered.   Many opportunities, but never any one place that we could pinpoint as being from God.      

It was often tempting to go with the flesh, especially when you are offered places that have amazing potential and you are tired of waiting on God.   We were blessed to be offered partnerships from Colorado Springs to Wyoming, New Mexico to North Carolina, New Zealand to Africa.      

We prayed for desperation and we got it.   Eight months of being stripped.   Nothing seemed to be coming together.   We talked about quitting.   We lost hope.   We got angry and frustrated.  But I felt God telling me that we had to show up to the starting line.  And there He would meet us.   He did.   Fact is, He had been with us all along.  He just wanted to prepare us for what He had to say.   He wanted to know if we were really serious.  Were we ready to step out in faith with nothing to rely on except Him?  

And in His timing, He gave us Swaziland.  We waited eight months.   Abraham waited over twenty years for his promised son.  God is faithful.      

The question is, “Are we willing to lay it all down ahead of time and wait on God?”